子浪小说

第18部分（第1页）

e。　Had　he　been　mocked；　had　anyone　spoken；　orlaughed；　or　called？　He　could　not　remember。　He　had　been　walking　in　a　storm。

Now　the　storm　was　over。　And　the　avenue；　like　any　landscape　that　has　endured　a　storm；　laychanged　under　Heaven；　exhausted　and　clean；　and　new。　Not　again；　for　ever；　could　it　return　to　theavenue　it　once　had　been。　Fire；　or　lightening；　or　the　latter　rain；　ing　down　from　these　skies　whichmoved　with　such　pale　secrecy　above　him　now；　had　laid　yesterday’s　avenue　waste；　had　changed　itin　a　moment；　in　the　twinkling　of　an　eye；　as　all　would　be　changed　on　the　last　day；　when　the　skieswould　open　up　once　more　to　gather　up　the　saints。

Yet　the　houses　were　there；　as　they　had　been；　the　windows；　like　a　thousand；　blinded　eyes；stared　outward　at　the　morning—at　the　morning　that　was　the　same　for　them　as　the　mornings　ofJohn’s　innocence；　and　the　mornings　before　his　birth。　The　water　run　in　the　gutters　with　a　small；discontented　sound；　on　the　water　traveled　paper；　burnt　matches；　sodden　cigarette…ends；　gobs　ofspittle；　green…yellow；　brown；　and　pearly；　the　leaving　of　a　dog；　the　vomit　of　a　drunken　man；　thedead　sperm；　trapped　in　rubber；　of　one　abandoned　to　his　lust。　All　moved　slowly　to　the　black　gratingwhere　down　it　rushed；　to　be　carried　to　the　river；　which　would　hurl　it　into　the　sea。

Where　houses　were；　where　windows　stared；　where　gutters　ran；　were　people—sleeping　now；invisible；　private；　in　the　heavy　darkness　of　these　houses；　while　the　Lord’s　day　broke　outside。　WhenJohn　should　walk　these　streets　again；　they　would　be　shouting　here　again；　the　roar　of　children’sroller　skates　would　bear　down　on　him　from　behind；　little　girls　in　pigtails；　skipping　rope；　wouldestablish　on　the　pavement　a　barricade　through　which　he　must　stumble　as　best　he　might。　Boyswould　be　throwing　ball　in　these　streets　again—they　would　look　at　him；　and　call：

‘Hey；　Frog…eyes！’

Men　would　be　standing　on　corners　again；　watching　him　pass；　girls　would　be　sitting　onstoops　again；　mocking　his　walk。　Grandmothers　would　stare　out　of　windows；　saying：

‘That　sure　is　a　sorry　little　boy。’

He　would　weep　again；　his　heart　insisted；　for　now　his　weeping　had　begun；　he　would　rageagain；　said　the　shifting　air；　for　the　lions　of　rage　had　been　unloosed；　he　would　be　in　darkness　again；in　fire　again；　now　that　he　had　seen　the　fire　and　the　darkness。　He　was　free—whom　the　Son　sets　freeis　free　indeed—he　had　only　to　stand　fast　in　his　liberty。　He　was　in　battle　no　longer；　this　unfoldingLord’s　day；　with　this　avenue；　these　houses；　the　sleeping；　staring；　shouting　people；　but　had　enteredinto　battle　with　Jacob’s　angel；　with　the　princes　and　the　powers　of　the　air。　And　he　was　filled　with　ajoy；　a　joy　unspeakable；　whose　roots；　though　he　would　not　trace　then　on　this　new　day　of　his　life；were　nourished　by　the　wellspring　of　a　despair　not　yet　discovered。　The　joy　of　the　Lord　is　thestrength　of　His　people。　Where　joy　was；　there　strength　followed；　where　strength　was；　sorrow　came—for　ever？　For　ever　and　for　ever；　said　the　arm　of　Elisha；　heavy　on　his　shoulder。　And　John　tried　tosee　through　the　morning　wall；　to　stare　past　the　bitter　houses；　to　tear　the　thousand　gray　veils　of　thesky　away；　and　look　into　that　heart—the　monstrous　heart　which　beat　for　ever；　turning　the　astoundeduniverse；　manding　the　stars　to　flee　away　before　the　sun’s　red　sandal；　bidding　the　moon　to　waxand　wane；　and　disappear；　and　e　again；　with　a　silver　　holding　back　the　sea；　and　out　ofmysteries　abysmal；　re…creating；　each　day；　the　earth。　That　heart；　that　breath；　without　which　was　notanything　made　which　was　made。　Tears　came　into　his　eyes　again；　making　the　avenue　shiver；causing　the　houses　to　shake—his　heart　swelled；　lifted　up；　faltered；　and　was　dumb。　Out　of　joystrength　came；　strength　that　was　fashioned　to　bear　sorrow；　sorrow　brought　forth　joy。　For　ever？　Thiswas　Ezekiel’s　wheel；　in　the　middle　of　the　burning　air　for　ever—and　the　little　wheel　ran　by　faith；and　the　big　wheel　ran　by　the　grace　of　God。

‘Elisha？’　he　said。

‘If　you　ask　Him　to　bear　you　up；’　said　Elisha；　as　though　he　had　read　his　thoughts；　‘He　won’tnever　let　you　fall。’

‘It　was　you；’　he　said；　‘wasn’t　it；　who　prayed　me　through？’

‘We　was　all　praying；　little　brother；’　said　Elisha；　with　a　smile；　‘but　yes；　I　was　right　over　youthe　whole　time。　Look　like　the　Lord　had　put　you　like　a　burden　on　my　soul。’

‘Was　I　praying　long？’　he　asked。

Elisha　laughed。　‘Well；　you　started　praying　when　it　was　night　and　you　ain’t　stopped　prayingtill　it　was　morning。　That’s　a　right　smart　time；　it　seems　to　me。’

John　smiled；　too；　observing　with　some　wonder　that　a　saint　of　God　could　laugh。

‘Was　you　glad；’　he　asked；　‘to　see　me　at　the　altar？’

Then　he　wondered　why　he　had　asked　this；　and　hoped　Elisha　would　no　think　him　foolish。

‘I　was　mighty　glad；’　said　Elisha　soberly；　‘to　see　little　Johnny　lay　his　sins　on　the　altar；　layhis　life　on　the　altar　and　rise　up；　praising　God。’

Something　shivered　in　him　as　the　word　sin　was　spoken。　Tears　sprang　to　his　eyes　again。

‘Oh；’　he　said；　‘I　pray　God；　I　pray　the　Lord　…　to　make　me　strong　…　to　sanctify　me　wholly　…　andkeep　me　saved！’

‘Yes；’　said　Elisha；　‘you　keep　that　spirit；　and　I　now　the　Lord’s　going　to　see　to　it　that　you　gethome　all　right。’

‘It’s　a　long　way；’　John　said　slowly；　‘ain’t　it？　It’s　a　hard　way。　It’s　uphill　all　the　way。’

‘You　remember　Jesus；’　Elisha　said。　‘You　keep　your　mind　on　Jesus。　He　went　that　way—upthe　steep　side　of　the　mountain—and　He　was　carrying　the　cross；　and　didn’t　nobody　help　Him。　Hewent　that　way　for　us。　He　carried　that　cross　for　us。’

‘But　He　was　the　Son　of　God；’　said　John；　‘and　He　knew　it。’

‘He　knew　it；’　said　Elisha；　‘because　He　was　willing　to　pay　the　price。　Don’t　you　know　it；Johnny？　Ain’t　you　willing　to　pay　the　price？’

‘That　song　they　sing；’　said　John；　finally；　‘if　it　costs　my　life—is　that　the　price？’

‘Yes。’　said　Elisha；　‘that’s　the　price。’

Then　John　was　silent；　wanting　to　put　the　question　another　way。　And　the　silence　wascracked；　suddenly；　by　an　ambulance　siren；　and　a　crying　bell。　And　they　both　look　up　as　theambulance　raced　past　them　on　the　avenue　on　which　no　creature　moved；　save　for　the　saints　of　Godbehind　them。

‘But　that’s　the　Devil’s　price；　too；’　said　Elisha；　as　silence　came　again。　‘The　Devil；　he　don’task　for　nothing　less　than　your　life。　And　he　take　it；　too；　and　it’s　lost　for　ever。　For　ever；　Johnny。　Youin　darkness　while　you　living　and　you　in　darkness　when　you　dead。　Ain’t　nothing　but　the　love　ofGod　can　make　the　darkness　light。’

‘Yes；’　said　John；　‘I　remember。　I　remember。’

‘Yes；’　said　Elisha；　‘but　you　got　to　remember　when　the　evil　day　es；　when　the　floodrises；　boy；　and　looks　like　your　soul　is　going　under。　You　got　to　remember　when　the　devil’s　doing　allhe　can　to　make　you　forget。’

‘The　Devil；’　he　said；　frowning　and　staring；　‘the　Devil。　How　many　faces　is　the　Devil　got？’

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