子浪小说

子浪小说>简爱英文版电子书txt > 第51部分(第2页)

第51部分(第2页)

“Because;” he said; “I sometimes have a queer feeling with regard to you—especially when you are near me; as now: it is as if I had a string somewhere under my left ribs; tightly and inextricably knotted to a similar string situated in the corresponding quarter of your little frame。 And if that boisterous Channel; and two hundred miles or so of land e broad between us; I am afraid that cord of munion will be snapt; and then I’ve a nervous notion I should take to bleeding inwardly。 As for you;—you’d forget me。”

“That I never should; sir: you know—” Impossible to proceed。

“Jane; do you hear that nightingale singing in the wood? Listen!”

In listening; I sobbed convulsively; for I could repress what I endured no longer; I was obliged to yield; and I was shaken from head to foot with acute distress。 When I did speak; it was only to express an impetuous wish that I had never been born; or never e to Thornfield。

“Because you are sorry to leave it?”

The vehemence of emotion; stirred by grief and love within me; was claiming mastery; and struggling for full sway; and asserting a right to predominate; to overe; to live; rise; and reign at last: yes;—and to speak。

“I grieve to leave Thornfield: I love Thornfield:… I love it; because I have lived in it a full and delightful life;—momentarily at least。 I have not been trampled on。 I have not been petrified。 I have not been buried with inferior minds; and excluded from every glimpse of munion with what is bright and energetic and high。 I have talked; face to face; with what I reverence; with what I delight in;—with an original; a vigorous; an expanded mind。 I have known you; Mr。 Rochester; and it strikes me with terror and anguish to feel I absolutely must be torn from you for ever。 I see the necessity of departure; and it is like looking on the necessity of death。”

“Where do you see the necessity?” he asked suddenly。

“Where? You; sir; have placed it before me。”

“In what shape?”

“In the shape of Miss Ingram; a noble and beautiful woman;—your bride。”

“My bride! What bride? I have no bride!”

“But you will have。”

“Yes;—I will!—I will!” He set his teeth。

“Then I must go:… you have said it yourself。”

“No: you must stay! I swear it—and the oath shall be kept。”

“I tell you I must go!” I retorted; roused to something like passion。 “Do you think I can stay to bee nothing to you? Do you think I am an automaton?—a machine without feelings? and can bear to have my morsel of bread snatched from my lips; and my drop of living water dashed from my cup? Do you think; because I am poor; obscure; plain; and little; I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong!—I have as much soul as you;—and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth; I should have made it as hard for you to leave me; as it is now for me to leave you。 I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom; conventionalities; nor even of mortal flesh;—it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave; and we stood at God’s feet; equal;—as we are!”

“As we are!” repeated Mr。 Rochester—“so;” he added; enclosing me in his arms。 Gathering me to his breast; pressing his lips on my lips: “so; Jane!”

“Yes; so; sir;” I rejoined: “and yet not so; for you are a married man—or as good as a married man; and wed to one inferior to you—to one with whom you have no sympathy—whom I do not believe you truly love; for I have seen and heard you sneer at her。 I would scorn such a union: therefore I am better than you—let me go!”

“Where; Jane? To Ireland?”

“Yes—to Ireland。 I have spoken my mind; and can go anywhere now。”

“Jane; be still; don’t struggle so; like a wild frantic bird that is rending its own plumage in its desperation。”

“I am no bird; and no  ensnares me; I am a free human being with an independent will; which I now exert to leave you。”

Another effort set me at liberty; and I stood erect before him。

“And your will shall decide your destiny;” he said: “I offer you my hand; my heart; and a share of all my possessions。”

“You play a farce; which I merely laugh at。”

“I ask you to pass through life at my side—to be my second self; and best earthly panion。”

“For that fate you have already made your choice; and must abide by it。”

“Jane; be still a few moments: you are over…excited: I will be still too。”

A waft of wind came sweeping down the laurel…walk; and trembled through the boughs of the chestnut: it wandered away—away—to an indefinite distance—it died。 The nightingale’s song was then the only voice of the hour: in listening to it; I again wept。 Mr。 Rochester sat quiet; looking at me gently and seriously。 Some time passed before he spoke; he at last said—

“e to my side; Jane; and let us explain and understand one another。”

“I will never again e to your side: I am torn away now; and cannot return。”

“But; Jane; I summon you as my wife: it is you only I intend to marry。”

I was silent: I thought he mocked me。

“e; Jane—e hither。”

“Your bride stands between us。”

He rose; and with a stride reached me。

“My bride is here;” he said;

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