子浪小说

第39部分（第4页）

false；　but　he　served　it　the　more　attentively。

During　the　day；　at　his　work　in　the　office；　he　kept　himself

suspended。　He　did　not　exist。　He　worked　automatically　till　it　was

time　to　go　home。

He　loved　with　a　hot　heart　the　dark…haired　little　Ursula；　and

he　waited　for　the　child　to　e　to　consciousness。　Now　the　mother

monopolized　the　baby。　But　his　heart　waited　in　its　darkness。　His

hour　would　e。

In　the　long　run；　he　learned　to　submit　to　Anna。　She　forced　him

to　the　spirit　of　her　laws；　whilst　leaving　him　the　letter　of　his

own。　She　bated　in　him　his　devils。　She　suffered　very　much　from

his　inexplicable　and　incalculable　dark　rages；　when　a　blackness

filled　him；　and　a　black　wind　seemed　to　sweep　out　of　existence

everything　that　had　to　do　with　him。　She　could　feel　herself；

everything；　being　annihilated　by　him。

At　first　she　fought　him。　At　night；　in　this　state；　he　would

kneel　down　to　say　his　prayers。　She　looked　at　his　crouching

figure。

〃Why　are　you　kneeling　there；　pretending　to　pray？〃　she　said；

harshly。　〃Do　you　think　anybody　can　pray；　when　they　are　in　the

vile　temper　you　are　in？〃

He　remained　crouching　by　the　beside；　motionless。

〃Its　horrible；〃　she　continued；　〃and　such　a　pretence！　What　do

you　pretend　you　are　saying？　Who　do　you　pretend　you　are　praying

to？〃

He　still　remained　motionless；　seething　with　inchoate　rage；

when　his　whole　nature　seemed　to　disintegrate。　He　seemed　to　live

with　a　strain　upon　himself；　and　occasionally　came　these　dark；

chaotic　rages；　the　lust　for　destruction。　She　then　fought　with

him；　and　their　fights　were　horrible；　murderous。　And　then　the

passion　between　them　came　just　as　black　and　awful。

But　little　by　little；　as　she　learned　to　love　him　better；　she

would　put　herself　aside；　and　when　she　felt　one　of　his　fits　upon

him；　would　ignore　him；　successfully　leave　him　in　his　world；

whilst　she　remained　in　her　own。　He　had　a　black　struggle　with

himself；　to　e　back　to　her。　For　at　last　he　learned　that　he

would　be　in　hell　until　he　came　back　to　her。　So　he　struggled　to

submit　to　her；　and　she　was　afraid　of　the　ugly　strain　in　his

eyes。　She　made　love　to　him；　and　took　him。　Then　he　was　grateful

to　her　love；　humble。

https://www.cwzww.com https://www.du8.org https://www.shuhuangxs.com www.baquge.cc