子浪小说

第31部分（第6页）

so　fresh　and　free　and　all　daylight。　Her　husband；　with　his

intensity　and　his　darkness；　was　obliterated。　She　left　him；　she

forgot　him；　she　accepted　her　father。

Yet；　as　she　went　home　again　with　the　young　man；　she　put　her

hand　on　his　arm　tentatively；　a　little　bit　ashamed；　her　hand

pleaded　that　he　would　not　hold　it　against　her；　her　recusancy。

But　he　was　obscured。　He　seemed　to　bee　blind；　as　if　he　were

not　there　with　her。

Then　she　was　afraid。　She　wanted　him。　When　he　was　oblivious　of

her；　she　almost　went　mad　with　fear。　For　she　had　bee　so

vulnerable；　so　exposed。　She　was　in　touch　so　intimately。　All

things　about　her　had　bee　intimate；　she　had　known　them　near

and　lovely；　like　presences　hovering　upon　her。　What　if　they

should　all　go　hard　and　separate　again；　standing　back　from　her

terrible　and　distinct；　and　she；　having　known　them；　should　be　at

their　mercy？

This　frightened　her。　Always；　her　husband　was　to　her　the

unknown　to　which　she　was　delivered　up。　She　was　a　flower　that　has

been　tempted　forth　into　blossom；　and　has　no　retreat。　He　had　her

nakedness　in　his　power。　And　who　was　he；　what　was　he？　A　blind

thing；　a　dark　force；　without　knowledge。　She　wanted　to　preserve

herself。

Then　she　gathered　him　to　herself　again　and　was　satisfied　for

a　moment。　But　as　time　went　on；　she　began　to　realize　more　and

more　that　he　did　not　alter；　that　he　was　something　dark；　alien　to

herself。　She　had　thought　him　just　the　bright　reflex　of　herself。

As　the　weeks　and　months　went　by　she　realized　that　he　was　a　dark

opposite　to　her；　that　they　were　opposites；　not　plements。

He　did　not　alter；　he　remained　separately　himself；　and　he

seemed　to　expect　her　to　be　part　of　himself；　the　extension　of　his

will。　She　felt　him　trying　to　gain　power　over　her；　without

knowing　her。　What　did　he　want？　Was　he　going　to　bully　her？

What　did　she　want　herself？　She　answered　herself；　that　she

wanted　to　be　happy；　t

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