子浪小说

第10部分（第4页）

unsheathes　itself　and　stands　always　ready；　waiting；　receptive。

He　could　not　understand　this。　He　forced　himself；　through　lack　of

understanding；　to　the　adherence　to　the　line　of　honourable

courtship　and　sanctioned；　licensed　marriage。　Therefore；　after　he

had　gone　to　the　vicarage　and　asked　for　her；　she　remained　for

some　days　held　in　this　one　spell；　open；　receptive　to　him；　before

him。　He　was　roused　to　chaos。　He　spoke　to　the　vicar　and　gave　in

the　banns。　Then　he　stood　to　wait。

She　remained　attentive　and　instinctively　expectant　before

him；　unfolded；　ready　to　receive　him。　He　could　not　act；　because

of　self…fear　and　because　of　his　conception　of　honour　towards

her。　So　he　remained　in　a　state　of　chaos。

And　after　a　few　days；　gradually　she　closed　again；　away　from

him；　was　sheathed　over；　impervious　to　him；　oblivious。　Then　a

black；　bottomless　despair　became　real　to　him；　he　knew　what　he

had　lost。　He　felt　he　had　lost　it　for　good；　he　knew　what　it　was

to　have　been　in　munication　with　her；　and　to　be　cast　off

again。　In　misery；　his　heart　like　a　heavy　stone；　he　went　about

unliving。

Till　gradually　he　became　desperate；　lost　his　understanding；

was　plunged　in　a　revolt　that　knew　no　bounds。　Inarticulate；　he

moved　with　her　at　the　Marsh　in　violent；　gloomy；　wordless

passion；　almost　in　hatred　of　her。　Till　gradually　she　became

aware　of　him；　aware　of　herself　with　regard　to　him；　her　blood

stirred　to　life；　she　began　to　open　towards　him；　to　flow　towards

him　again。　He　waited　till　the　spell　was　between　them　again；　till

they　were　together　within　one　rushing；　hastening　flame。　And　then

again　he　was　bewildered；　he　was　tied　up　as　with　cords；　and　could

not　move　to　her。　So　she　came　to　him；　and　unfastened　the　breast

of　his　waistcoat　and　his　shirt；　and　put　her　hand　on　him；　needing

to　know　him。　For　it　was　cruel　to　her；　to　be　opened　and　offered

to　him；　yet　not　to　know　what　he　was；　not　even　that　he　was　there。

She　gave　herself　to　the　hour；　but　he　could　not；　and　he　bungled

in　taking　her。

So　that　he　lived　in　suspense；　as　if　only　half　his　faculties

worked；　until　the　wedding。　She　did　not　understand。　But　the

vagueness　came　over　her　again；　and　the　days　lapsed　by。　He　could

not　get　definitely　into　touch　with　her。　For　the　time　being；　she

let　him　go　again。

He　suffered　very　much　from　the　thought　of　actual　marriage；

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