〃Go on inside and wash your damned hands;〃 he said; stepping back and taking another bite of his Danish。 〃Jesus Christ。〃
I went up the steps。 My legs were shaking; my heart pounding like an engine with leaky valves and shaky old pistons。 As I grasped the knob that would let me into the kitchen … and safety … Dolan said: 〃If you tell anyone I squeezed your po old wrist; Paulie; Ill tell them youre having delusions。 Onset of senile dementia; likely。 And you know theyll believe me。 If there are bruises; theyll think you made them yourself。〃
Yes。 Those things were true。 And once again; it could have been Percy Wetmore saying them; a Percy that had somehow stayed young and mean while Id grown old and brittle。
〃Im not going to say anything to anyone;〃 I mutered。 〃Got nothing to say。〃
〃Thats right; you old sweetie。〃 His voice light and mocking; the voice of a lugoon (to use Percys word) who thought he was going to be young forever。 〃And Im going to find out what youre up to。 Im going to make it my business。 You hear?〃
I heard; all right; but wouldnt give him the satisfaction of saying so。 I went in; passed through the kitchen (I could now smell eggs and sausage cooking; but no longer wanted any); and hung the poncho back up on its hook。 Then I went upstairs to my room … resting at every step; giving my heart time to slow … and gathered my writing materials together。
I went down to the solarium and was just sitting at the little table by the windows when my friend Elaine poked her head in。 She looked tired; and; I thought; unwell。 Shed bed her hair out but was still in her robe。 We old sweeties dont stand much on ceremony; for the most part; we cant afford to。
〃I wont disturb you;〃 she said; 〃I see youre getting set to write…〃
〃Dont be silly;〃 I said。 〃Ive got more time than Carters got liver pills。 e on in。〃
She did; but stood by the door。 〃Its just that I couldnt sleep … again … and happened to be looking out my window a little earlier 。。。 and 。。。〃
〃And you saw Mr。 Dolan and me having our pleasant little chat;〃 I said。 I hoped seeing was all shed done; that her window had been closed and she hadnt heard me whining to be let go。
〃It didnt look pleasant and it didnt look friendly;〃 she said。 〃Paul; that Mr。 Dolans been asking around about you。 He asked me about you … last week; this was。 I didnt think much about it then; just that hes got himself a nasty long nose for other peoples business; but now I wonder。〃
〃Asking about me?〃 I hoped I didnt sound as uneasy as I felt。 〃Asking what?〃
〃Where you go walking; for one thing。 And why you go walking。〃
I tried to laugh。 〃Theres a man who doesnt believe in exercise; that much is clear。〃
〃He thinks youve got a secret。〃 She paused。 〃So do I。〃
I opened my mouth … to say what; I dont know … but Elaine raised one of her gnarled but oddly beautiful hands before I could get a single word out。 〃If you do; I dont want to know what it is; Paul。 Your business is your business。 I was raised to think that way; but not everyone was。 Be careful。 Thats all I want to tell you。 And now Ill let you alone to do your work。〃
She turned to go; but before she could get out the door; I called her name。 She turned back; eyes questioning。
〃When I finish what Im writing…〃 I began; then shook my head a little。 That was wrong。 〃If I finish what Im writing; would you read it?〃
She seemed to consider; then gave me the sort of smile a man could easily fall in love with; even a man as old as me。 〃That would be my honor。〃
〃Youd better wait until you read it before you talk about honor;〃 I said; and it was Delacroixs death I was thinking of。
〃Ill read it; though;〃 she said。 〃Every word。 I promise。 But you have to finish writing it; first。〃
She left me to it; but it was a long time before I wrote anything。 I sat staring out the windows for almost an hour; tapping my pen against the side of the table; watching the gray day brighten a little at a time; thinking about Brad Dolan; who calls me Paulie and never tires of jokes about chinks and slopes and spicks and micks; thinking about what Elaine Connelly had s
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