子浪小说

子浪小说>简爱英文版摘抄 > 第57部分(第1页)

第57部分(第1页)

“Then; sir; listen。 You were from home last night?”

“I was: I know that; and you hinted a while ago at something which had happened in my absence:… nothing; probably; of consequence; but; in short; it has disturbed you。 Let me hear it。 Mrs。 Fairfax has said something; perhaps? or you have overheard the servants talk?— your sensitive self…respect has been wounded?”

“No; sir。” It struck twelve—I waited till the time…piece had concluded its silver chime; and the clock its hoarse; vibritting stroke; and then I proceeded。

“All day yesterday I was very busy; and very happy in my ceaseless bustle; for I am not; as you seem to think; troubled by any haunting fears about the new sphere; et cetera: I think it a glorious thing to have the hope of living with you; because I love you。 No; sir; don’t caress me now—let me talk undisturbed。 Yesterday I trusted well in Providence; and believed that events were working together for your good and mine: it was a fine day; if you recollect—the calmness of the air and sky forbade apprehensions respecting your safety or fort on your journey。 I walked a little while on the pavement after tea; thinking of you; and I beheld you in imagination so near me; I scarcely missed your actual presence。 I thought of the life that lay before me—your life; sir—an existence more expansive and stirring than my own: as much more so as the depths of the sea to which the brook runs are than the shallows of its own strait channel。 I wondered why moralists call this world a dreary wilderness: for me it blossomed like a rose。 Just at sunset; the air turned cold and the sky cloudy: I went in; Sophie called me upstairs to look at my wedding…dress; which they had just brought; and under it in the box I found your present—the veil which; in your princely extravagance; you sent for from London: resolved; I suppose; since I would not have jewels; to cheat me into accepting something as costly。 I smiled as I unfolded it; and devised how I would tease you about your aristocratic tastes; and your efforts to masque your plebeian bride in the attributes of a peeress。 I though how I would carry dobroidered blond I had myself prepared as a covering for my low…born head; and ask if that was not good enough for a woman who could bring her husband neither fortune; beauty; nor connections。 I saw plainly how you would look; and heard your impetuous republican answers; and your haughty disavowal of any necessity on your part to augment your wealth; or elevate your standing; by marrying either a purse or a coro。”

“How well you read me; you witch!” interposed Mr。 Rochester: “but what did you find in the veil besides its embroidery? Did you find poison; or a dagger; that you look so mournful now?”

“No; no; sir; besides the delicacy and richness of the fabric; I found nothing save Fairfax Rochester’s pride; and that did not scare me; because I am used to the sight of the demon。 But; sir; as it grew dark; the wind rose: it blew yesterday evening; not as it blows now—wild and high—but ‘with a sullen; moaning sound’ far more eerie。 I wished you were at home。 I came into this room; and the sight of the empty chair and fireless hearth chilled me。 For some time after I went to bed; I could not sleep—a sense of anxious excitement distressed me。 The gale still rising; seemed to my ear to muffle a mournful under…sound; whether in the house or abroad I could not at first tell; but it recurred; doubtful yet doleful at every lull; at last I made out it must be some dog howling at a distance。 I was glad when it ceased。 On sleeping; I continued in dreams the idea of a dark and gusty night。 I continued also the wish to be with you; and experienced a strange; regretful consciousness of some barrier dividing us。 During all my first sleep; I was following the windings of an unknown road; total obscurity environed me; rain pelted me; I was burdened with the charge of a little child: a very small creature; too young and feeble to walk; and which shivered in my cold arms; and wailed piteously in my ear。 I thought; sir; that you were on the road a long way before me; and I strained every nerve to overtake you; and made effort on effort to utter your name and entreat you to stop— but my movements were fettered; and my voice still died away inarticulate; while you; I felt; withdrew farther and farther every moment。”

“And these dreams weigh on your spirits now; Jane; when I am close to you? Little nervous subject! Forget visionary woe; and think only of real happiness! You say you love me; Ja: yes—I will not forget that; and you cannot deny it。 those words did not die inarticulate on your lips。 I heard them clear and soft: a thought too solemn perhaps; but sweet as music—‘I think it is a glorious thing to have the hope of living with you; Edward; because I love you。’ Do you love me; Jane?—repeat it。”

“I do; sir—I do; with my whole heart。”

“Well;” he said; after some minutes’ silence; “it is strange; but that sentence has perated by breast painfully。 Why? I think because you said it with such an earnest; religious energy; and because your upward gaze at me now is the very sublime of faith; truth; and devotion: it is too much as if some spirit were near me。 Look wicked; Jane: as you know well how to look: coin one of your wild; shy; provoking smiles; tell me you hate me—tease me; vex me; do anything but move me: I would rather be incensed than saddened。”

“I will tease you and vex you to your heart’s content; when I have finished my tale: but hear me to the end。”

“I thought; Jane; you had told me all。 I thought I had found the source of your melancholy in a dream。”

I shook my head。 “What! is there more? But I will not believe it to be anything important。 I warn you of incredulity beforehand。 Go on。”

The disquietude of his air; the somewhat apprehensive impatience of his manner; surprised me: but I proceeded。

“I dreamt another dream; sir: that Thornfield Hall was a dreary ruin; the retreat of bats and owls。 I thought that of all the stately front nothing remained but a shell…like wall; very high and very fragile…looking。 I wandered; on a moonlight night; through the grass…grown enclosure within: here I stumbled over a marble hearth; and there over a fallen fragment of cornice。 Wrapped up in a shawl; I still carried the unknown little child: I might not lay it down anywhere; however tired were my arms—however much its weight impeded my progress; I must retain it。 I heard the gallop of a horse at a distance on the road; I was sure it was you; and you were departing for many years and for a distant country。 I climbed the thin wall with frantic perilous haste; eager to catch one glimpse of you from the top: the stones rolled from under my feet; the ivy branches I grasped gave way; the child clung round my neck in terror; and almost strangled me; at last I gained the summit。 I saw you like a speck on a white track; lessening every moment。 The blast blew so strong I could not stand。 I sat down on the narrow ledge; I hushed the scared infant in my lap: you turned an angle of the road: I bent forward to take a last look; the wall crumbled; I was shaken; the child rolled from my knee; I lost my balance; fell; and woke。”

“Now; Jane; that is all。”

“All the preface; sir; the tale is yet to e。 On waking; a gleam dazzled my eyes; I thought—Oh; it is daylight! But I was mistaken; it was only candlelight。 Sophie; I supposed; had e in。 There was a light in the dressing…table; and the door of the closet; where; before going to bed; I had hung my wedding…dress and veil; stood open; I heard a rustling there。 I asked; ‘Sophie; what are you doing?’ No one answered; but a form emerged from the closet; it took the light; held it aloft; and surveyed the garments pendent from the portmanteau。 ‘Sophie! Sophie!’ I again cried: and still it was silent。 I had risen up in bed; I bent forward: first surprise; then bewilderment; came over me; and then my blood crept cold through my veins。 Mr。 Rochester; this was not Sophie; it was not Leah; it was not Mrs。 Fairfax: it was not—no; I was sure of it; and am still—it was not even that strange woman; Grace Poole。”

“It must have been one of them;” interrupted my master。

“No; sir; I solemnly assure you to the contrary。 The shape standing before me had never crossed my eyes within the precincts of Thornfield Hall before; the height; the contour were new to me。”

“Describe it; Jane。”

“It seemed; sir; a woman; tall and large; with thick and dark hair hanging long down her back。 I know not what dress she had on: it was white and straight; but whether gown; sheet; or shroud; I cannot tell。”

“Did you see her face?”

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